I could nevery understand why
by rejected-pen
Summary: Life was never meant to be fair...


A fanfiction of **R**agnarok **O**nline by **RejectedPen**   
I never understood **why-  
**Chapter 1 : My **Life**, My **Hopes**, My **Love  
**  
Ten years ago, I was just a little thief in the big city, Morocc. My eyes would always eye around for scraps of food as I was an abandoned orphan. Homeless, and starving and my name is Itsuka.  
  
I was always invisible to everybody as they walked past me, the little girl with begging eyes, not noticing her at all. Only one person was able to uncloak her invisibility cloak. A young swordsman sat beside me, the messy little girl. He grinned at me, his eyes showed sympathy as he handed me some food. I snatched it and gobbled it up as fast as I could to sooth my grumbling tummy. The swordsman laughed as he watched me eat. He then said, "I never know that girls could gobble." I could only sit and stare with my confused eyes and mouth full at the stranger in front of me. He then took me in as his adopted sister and taught me many things and his name is Albert Alexander, eight years my senior and a Knight wannabe.  
  
Every night, he would tell me about his dreams, how he wanted to serve Prontera but then he needed to prove himself able of such a job. He would go on and on till I fell asleep. During the day in his spare time, he would train me in combats and skills which I couldn't seem to master and this made him mad. In order to cheer him up, I trained hard on my agility and dexterity. I've even shown interest in chemistry and concocted several poisons. Albert wasn't very happy with it but he supported me all the same and advised me to make an antidote for all my poisons, just in case.  
  
That was then. Now, Albert is promoted to a Knight and everybody except me called him, Sir Albert. It seems awkward for me to call him 'Sir' so I continued calling him, Brother Al [_Yeah, I know it sounds lame and all ._]. A beautiful female huntress named Ruka visits often. She is a childhood friend of Albert. She visits us to teach me on how to use the bow and arrow but I think she visits just to be closer with Albert. I would always laugh at the thought of that as Albert is actually quite smitten by her. There are countless gift boxes in his room that are meant for her but he had not the guts to present it to her and sometimes due to his lack of courage, instead of presenting it to Ruka, he presents it to me. A brave knight in battle but a coward in romance. Sadly, he is always short of zenny and one income doesn't seem to be enough. I started plans to generate my own income and this plan does not include Albert as he will detest it and may even throw me out for it. I had planned to take up assassination for a big fee.  
  
I have assassinated many and my customers multiply everyday. Some of my customers are the victims of my assassination. They would pay me a fortune to assassinate those who ordered me to kill them. I would be happy to accept. This job had made me a person with no emotions and people call me, the 'Merciless Beauty'. I could not be traced but I left every of my victims a sign that it was my doing. They would lie on the ground as if they were to lie in a coffin with a rose held in their hands yet the detectives could never trace me down. There is another assassin other than me at large and I discovered that his name is, the 'Invincible Blade'. He is an assassin that kills when the victim is unsecured even if just for a millisecond.  
  
Albert never know where the extra zenny comes from but he is too busy thinking about Ruka to bother to find out. Therefore Albert never knew of Itsuka's late night jobs, taking away her victim's last breath when she had to serve her services of assassinating. One day, there was a request to kill a huntress named, Ruka Nu-Ri, the one that Albert had his eyes on for a large sum of zenny and several rare cards. It was made by a wizard by the name of Ah Long with a heart filled with grief, jealousy and revenge. I hesitated about the offer but because of the temptation of zenny and cards, I accepted.  
  
I kept repeating to myself that this is just another one of my daily assassination and there is nothing to be guilty about. The guilty ones are those who paid as all I did is just to carry out my duty as an assassinator. I took several deep breaths before I left home, trying to calm my disturbed soul. I hid behind the walls and shadows that offers protection from wondering eyes as I tail Ruka, waiting for the correct moment to make a perfect attack to come out clean. Just before I was about to initiate an attack, Albert came into view with scarlet cheeks. I was shocked to see him out so late that I retreated to a safer spot where an elite knight won't be able to spot. A dreadful feeling started to overcome me about him being there but I wasn't sure why until he knelt down in front of Ruka. I took actions immediately and hoped after hope that I wasn't too late. I took my katar out and made a quick slash.  
  
The clashes of our weapons could be heard for miles that I prayed I hadn't wakened the neighborhood. Thank goodness I was just in time before the worst could happen. Just as I thought, Ah Long, the wizard had sent another assassin to kill Albert, my brother. Both Albert and Ruka were stunned as they looked on. I had covered part of my face with a violet cloth to avoid detection. I leapt backwards and prepared another attack. The other assassin stood his ground and grinned a triumphant grin. He stood out of the shadows and raised his unmasked head. He had soft silver silk hair that falls gently on his face that almost looked white with cold mysterious grey eyes that could pull anyone into it. He had a mysterious aura that somehow made me quite infatuated with him. He then said with a voice that could even freeze Alarms in the Clock Tower, "No one... No one had ever... Ever, interfered with my attacks... If only I hadn't been... just careless..." Then he started to laugh as though he went mad.  
  
I heard the drawing of a sword from Albert's direction but dare not waste a second to turn and look as an assassin could make use of even one second to make the kill. "You... Both of you... You are both under the list of 'Most Wanted' and both of you are hereby, under arrest by order of the King of Prontera..." Albert finally voiced up, and continued, "you are the 'Invincible Blade' and you," he pointed his sword towards me, "are the 'Merciless Beauty'." It hurts to hear those words coming out of his mouth but I dare not speak as Albert knew very well how my voice sounded like. The assassin, Invincible Blade slunk back into the shadows and disappeared. I heaved a sigh before letting go of my guard. Seeing that Albert was still there and well equipped, ready to arrest me, I ran silently away and the scene where all had took place and where blood is supposed to be shed was left as though nothing had happened.  
  
I ran as far as I could but soon, I was left breathless and was forced to slow down to a walk to catch my shortened breath while anticipating the dark yet peaceful atmosphere of the forest at night thinking about the other infamous assassin that I have heard of so much. He is said to be highly skilled in the art of hiding and cloaking but I couldn't forget his eyes that seemed to explain a lot about his painful past and most of all, his eyes seem to have dug out a memory of mine from the past. I thought even more of him than I would allow myself to.  
  
"Boo!" I was startled at the voice that was clearly, only an inch or so away from my ear. The voice continued, "Why... did you stop me..." I regained my composure and said calmly, "I owed him my life and I shall use it, by all means to save him." He smacked his lips and said, "So... If you save him then... Who is going to save you?" I felt a sharp object upon my back. I leapt unto the safety of an old tree's branch with only a scratch on my back, thankful that it isn't any deeper than that. I saw him again from the tree, his porcelain like face shone softly from the moonlight, so familiar yet forgotten. "My dear beauty, you can't hide from the invisible, you know?" he said in a teasing voice. And with that, he disappeared but his shadow remained. His shadow too, disappeared from view when it went into another shadow. I strained my ears for any sound that might be able to indicate his whereabouts but there was none. I stepped a step backwards but unfortunately, the branch that held me couldn't support my weight any longer and I started to fall, I was in the state if panic as I couldn't control the situation where I might get broken bones from falling off a tree and an assassin that might want to kill me for interrupting his plan of attack. I shut my eyes, waiting for the worst.  
  
I felt 2 gloved hands gripped my waist, preventing my fall. I felt myself being carried up by these hands. I opened my eyes and got the shock of my life. Only an inch away from my face is the same gloved hand that saved me. It seems that those gloved hands belonged to the assassin as he removed the cloth that hid my face and what even shocked me is that he kissed me lightly on my lips with a voice that is barely a whisper, "I shall save you then..." I was stunned and speechless upon hearing this. A flash back then came into my mind, as vivid as a dream, ten years ago.  
  
_

* * *

I ran excitedly, filled with a sudden burst of energy from the mixture of fear and excitement. I had just stolen a meat from the meat merchant and made a hefty escape that was spotted by the meat merchant himself. I ran as fast as my legs could carry with the merchant shouting angrily behind me. I would then hide in an abandoned house and admire my accomplishment. Another boy, around 2 years my senior approached me. He had silver hair and grey eyes with a pale complexion. He shook my hand and introduced himself as Cole so I told him my name. He bent down and kissed me on my lips for no reason and whispered, "I like you It-chan" and ran off. When I recovered from my surprise, I discovered that he had stolen my stolen meat along and left me starving until Albert came.

* * *

_  
"Cole...?" I muttered. His grey eyes was filled with a seriousness that dug my eyes, trying to read my mind. He nodded slowly. I blushed scarlet when he continued staring at me. "You have grown into a beautiful woman," he said and then he slunk into the shadows while saying, "We shall meet again, It-chan," and disappeared into the shadows. Again, he kissed and left me in a complete daze.  
  
I never finished my duty of killing Ruka but I did threaten Ah Long that if Ruka or Albert gets killed, he will find himself in a coffin. I refunded all his zennys but I kept a few cards which he didn't dare to claim after hearing my threat.  
  
Several months has passed since then. There would be a guild war tomorrow and the war includes my brother's guild, 'The-Fellowship-Of-RO'_[My guild!!!]_. Albert is also engaged with Ruka. Today, Albert will go off to prepare for the war and I am to stay at home which I strongly oppose of. "Itsuka!" Albert called; I hurried to him with his sword, helm and armour. I watched him in silence as he wore his armour. He then said, not facing me face to face, "The war is tomorrow, Itsuka... I hope you are prepared for it if anything were to..." he paused. I knew what he was going to say but I don't have the heart to finish off his sentence. He continued on, "If I return with victory, we shall live lavishly in the land that my guild had conquered and the marriage will take place there as well." At the mention of marriage, he beamed but it turned into a frown when he started to say, "But if, I fail to return... Be prepared for the worst." He stared into space, thinking.  
  
"Brother Al, I... I want to join your guild..." a timid voice said that even I am embarrassed to claim as mine. He froze in his position and with a cold voice that he had never used against me before said, "No!" I tried my best to persuade him to change his mind but to no avail. I finally resorted to my last resort. I spoke in a tired voice, "What if... what if the 'Merciless Beauty', the female assassin that you could never catch, wants to join your guild? Will you allow her to join?"  
  
Albert's head spun around so quickly that I was afraid it might just spin off his shoulders. "Whaddya mean???" he sputtered out. "She... uh... She's my friend... and she said she wants to be part of the guild war but she... didn't have a guild to contribute to." Albert burrowed his eyebrows, deep in thoughts. Then he said, "No wonder she protected me that night... your friend... I don't know how you know her but, if she wants... but not you, you are too young and your skills are too mediocre." I nodded obediently with fingers crossed behind my back. "Ask her to meet me and my guild members in the Knight's meeting room in Glast Heim if she wishes to join, I could use an extra attacker." He added before he left.  
  
I hurried to my room to change into my assassin's outfit. While I changed, a voice said, "You don't need weapons to kill, all you need to do is just to flash your body." I covered my body immediately and screamt. Cole winced at my voice and quickly raised up both his hands as he walked towards the door. I slammed the door and locked it before I quickly dressed to greet him in a more proper manner then only did I open the door and ask, "What do you think you're doing?" He shrugged and said, "I told you I will save you and protection is included in saving, doesn't it?" I blushed again at that statement and tried to regain my composure once more. I cleared my throat and said, "I've to go now, goodbye." Cole gently touched my face and said, "I don't like to hear goodbyes..." He bent down to face me face to face, nose to nose, and forehead to forehead. I felt my blood rushing up to my head and I even felt the heat evaporating from the skin of my face. His grey eyes piercing into mine, I shut my eyes tightly, not wanting to see his. "I need to know now, need to know if, you have ever liked me... the way I liked you..." he said again, in a voice that is barely a whisper, just loud enough for me to hear. I whispered back, "How much do you like me anyway?". With the same slow soft whisper, he said "I don't know... Too much for words I would say... so have you ever liked me?" I walked away from him and said, "Haven't you noticed?" before disappearing into the shadows.  
  
Cole looked expressionlessly to the spot where Itsuka just disappear before he himself disappeared into the shadows. 

**A/N** : What's with Cole and his "_I'm Mr Very Nice_" to Itsuka? Sounds fishy? Maybe, Find out more in the next chapter AFTER I am paid with my salary of **_reviews_** [/gg]  
**P/S** : Welpz, my friend told me Cole is a lil too much off a big softy with his "_Oh, I love u It-chan_" Izit true??? [/sob]


End file.
